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ESC2017: good things come to those who wait…

After a wait of 53 years, Portugal have won the 2017 Eurovision Song Contest.

And it didn’t just win – it swept all competition aside with a massive points total, from both the jury and televote…

Watching at home made it seem a quicker night than it has been when watching live from the arena over the years. I guess the escape from songs that I am not a fan of was a bonus. And as you know, there were a lot of songs I wanted to avoid this year!

Portugal’s victory has been greeted with the Marmite factor: some people loving it, some people hating it. Me? Well, I’m still scratching my head a little bit. That said, listening to the song is more favourable than watching it.

Clearly some kind of diaspora vote lifted Bulgaria and Poland to the top of the UK televote. I mean, Poland, really?

In a shock announcement, Israel announced their departure from the ESC, as their government has closed their national broadcaster. Let’s hope we see them back in the contest. Love me a bit of Dana International, Milk & Honey, and Izhar Cohen – their three winners.

Some bloke crashed Jamala’s performance, and cheekily flashed his buttocks. Best part of that performance, tbf!

The UK’s Lucie Jones finished 15th. A lucky result, I’d say. Yes, the juries liked it (99 points), but the international televote not as much (only 12 points). My mum likes the song very much. As did Australia, who gave it the only douze points of the evening.

Some people are commenting that, whilst the host theme was to ‘celebrate diversity’, having three white men presenting wasn’t particularly inclusive and diverse. Funny that no one mentioned three women presenting in Vienna 2015. Seriously people, don’t over think things.

So that’s us done for another year. Thanks for reading. Ten years of the blog has come and gone very quickly! Next year the ESC will likely travel to Lisbon and I will probably watch from home. And if I do, and if I blog again, we can do it all again…

Obrigado!

šŸ™‚

xx

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ESC2017: Cā€™mon Kyiv!

Greetings from sunny Southport (well it was earlier) on Eurovision Saturday! Tonight the ESC2017 reaches its climax with the Grand Final, after two entertaining semi-finals.

No one seems to have located my Euro-mojo. I certainly havenā€™t! Just one of those things this time around, I guess (although you will see my realisation on my comments for song 25, below!). I think the main reason is that, other than Sweden and the departed Finland, I donā€™t much care who wins. Iā€™m ready to be surprised by the outcome tonight. Italy were dethroned as bookies favourite last night, and it is now Portugal predicted as the next winner. Itā€™s all bonkers for me ā€“ letā€™s see whether the professional juries and voting public think itā€™s the best song.

So, one last time, here are my thoughts on the finalists, who will compete tonight in this running orderā€¦

  1. Israel

The last performance of the second semi-final opens the show. Yeah, we need an up-tempo number to get our Euro-party started. Not Israelā€™s year, and certainly not the strongest song they have sent in the last few years. Mind you, as I said the other day, if pretty boys won the Eurovision, weā€™d be off to Jerusalem next year.

  1. Poland

No song has ever won from performing second, and that ainā€™t gonna change this year. I think this is a rather dull ballad, and the early draw will kill it off. Although letā€™s not forget that Poland had a * huge * televote last year, so the diaspora vote may lift this in the final standings.

  1. Belarus

This was one of the biggest crowd-pleasers of either semi-final. Is it too early in the draw? I want it to do really well, and it is one of the songs that puts a smile on my face. And the presentation on stage was cute. Cā€™mon Belarus!

  1. Austria

Another cute song and performance. And with the Ed Sheeran sound it should do ok. Perhaps a little early in the draw?

  1. Armenia

I was disappointed by the performance after seeing the highly choreographed video. I do like the song, and itā€™ll do well.

  1. The Netherlands

FYI, Eurofans, this is my most-listened-to ESC song this week. Love it. Whatā€™s not to like: fab harmonies, that retro vibe and those bejewelled frocks. These three sisters are certainly doing it for themselves. I think being later in the running order would have helped them. I am willing them on!

  1. Moldova

Kill me, kill me now! This will do well, but a bit like Latvia and those pirates of the sea, all those years ago, I find it highly irritating. And it was one of my students who was telling my the internet sensation that the sax guy became a while back. Funny that, because I find the sax the most irritating part!

  1. Hungary

Points off for the man bun! Although kudos for standing out with something suitably indigenous musically from Hungary.

  1. Italy

Some fans saying the draw has killed the former hot fave off. Nah, Sweden and Austria have won from this section of the draw. Besides, if itā€™s that much of a hot fave the draw shouldnā€™t matter. It will do really well, and I will like it more when it doesnā€™t win šŸ™‚

  1. Denmark

Nice song, fab vocal, nice performance. A bit beige for me, but the performances this week have lifted the song. I like it more than I did. But do you get my thing about it getting a bit too Mariah Carey screechy towards the end?

  1. Portugal

Well, will we be in Lisbon next year? Will Europe see through the slightly awkward performance and be enchanted by this chanson? I really donā€™t get it being installed as the fave. But then, Iā€™m ready to be surprised tonight.

  1. Azerbaijan

The bonkers aspect of the man on a ladder with a horse head hasnā€™t been explained. We are apparently to draw our own conclusions. Well, yes, I have!

  1. Croatia

Blimey, that weird thing of switching between the opera voice and the regular voice is a bit strange! Clearly peeps like the life-affirming message of the song.

  1. Australia

Not as stellar a song as Dami Im sung last year. The juries will probs like it. And hey, letā€™s see if the novelty factor has worn off. Remember, if they do win they will nominate a country to host it. We will not be headed down underā€¦

  1. Greece

A bit of europop fromage for the evening. I will be refreshing the snacks and nibbles at this pointā€¦

  1. Spain

As I said yesterday, this is one of the most impressive visuals. I love the backdrop and the projections. Very clever ā€“ it will lift the song. His vocal was a bit pitchy in rehearsals, so letā€™s see if that improves. Good effort from Spain.

  1. Norway

I was surprised to see this in the final. Clearly the rather unoriginal sound and visuals were of more interest to the fans and viewers. I think itā€™s the guys wearing masks ā€“ not particularly original. Yes I know ā€“ since when did Eurovision have to be original!

  1. United Kingdom

Blimey, the UK is in the top ten favourites! Lucy Jones has impressed Kyiv with that belter of a vocal, and coupled with the visuals it does have impact. For me, the song is dull, dull, dull. Of course I want Lucy to do well, and I will be cheering the UK on. Letā€™s see if we can break with tradition and end the evening on the left side of the leader board. I am not holding my breath!

  1. Cyprus

For me, this is the most improved song of the week. I love the staging – itā€™s clever and it makes the most of the song, with stylish visuals and choreography. Of the men performing tonight, itā€™s one of the best for me.

  1. Romania

Yup. Iā€™ll say it again. The song is Mars Attacks! for me, and Iā€™m the aliensā€¦ * head explodes *. Itā€™s going to do rather well. A return to the competition will see Romania scale the top end of the leader board. Picture the scene later tonight: by song twenty Europe will have had a drink and this will sound ace! šŸ™‚

  1. Germany

All rather unmemorable for meā€¦

  1. Ukraine

The rock vibe stands out from everything else, but certain to not scale the heights of last year for the host country.

  1. Belgium

Probably one of the best songs of the week. It would be on the radio and you would sing along. That said, probably one of the weakest performances. The poor girl looks terrified. But hey ā€“ thatā€™s what makes it memorable. Who knows, Blanche might style it our tonight? Going to do wellā€¦

  1. Sweden

This is my favourite song of the year, and not just due to my annual love of the Swedish song. Impressive performance and a sing-along song. The fans will be fuming if we have to go back to Sweden. Robin should do well tonight, and probs a top five, deffo top ten finish. Oh, and those eyesā€¦ could you faint šŸ™‚

  1. Bulgaria

OMG ā€“ I might just have had a realisation why my Euro-mojo is weak this year! I think itā€™s because I canā€™t understand why the whole bunch of songs that are predicted to top the leader board are predicted to do so. And this song, as much as Portugal, baffles me why itā€™s third favourite. Yes a decent song, and a visually tidy performance, but I just donā€™t get it!

  1. France

Not the best song to end on. Sweden would have been better. All rather dull for me.

Well, my Euro-chums, thatā€™s what I think. And yes, I do seem rather unimpressed, donā€™t I! Not to worry, because for all us fans the excitement is building and I am looking forward to the show, and letā€™s hope that Graham Norton is on good form.

Iā€™m off to sort the drinks, snacks and nibbles.

Letā€™s get our Euro-party started and ā€œCelebrate Diversityā€!

Enjoy the show!

šŸ™‚ xx

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ESC2017: funky chicken and the dancing gorillaā€¦

After another entertaining evening, what did we learn from the second semi-final?

Thanks to last year’s hosts, Petra Mede And MĆ„ns Zelmerlƶw, singing and dancing hosts might be the new normal

FYROMā€™s Jana Burčeska didnā€™t really seem to be singing much of her song

We had the first toilet roll holder frock of the competition, thanks to Switzerland

The Man Bun isnā€™t dead yetā€¦ sadly ā€“ thanks to Hungary

It wasnā€™t clear what ā€˜losing our Veronaā€™ meant. Verruca perhaps, Estonia?

There was a dad dancing backing singer for San Marino

Speaking of which, San Marino ā€“ she was clearly more in to him then he was her

Key changes were back, again!

And these are the ten qualifiers for the Grand Finalā€¦

Bulgaria: Beautiful Mess by Kristian Kostov

Belarus: Story of My Life by Naviband

Croatia: My Friend by Jacques Houdek

Hungary: Origo by Joci PƔpai

Denmark: Where I Am by Anja

Israel: I Feel Alive by IMRI

Romania: Yodel It! by Ilinka ft. Alex Florea

Norway: Grab The Moment by JOWST

The Netherlands: Lights and Shadows by OG3NE

Austria: Running On Air by Nathan Trent

I got 8/10 on my napkin of death. Not a bad result. Good to see Norway and Denmark regain their place in the final, to balance the Nordic participants. The hosts were a little more polished, and their opening montage of Eurovision winners done in a Ukrainian style was quite entertaining. Hereā€™s a quick recap of how things shaked downā€¦

So, we now have the twenty qualifiers for the Grand Final on Saturday night. Whatā€™s say we have a look and listen to the automatic qualifiers, the ā€˜Big Fiveā€™ and hosts Ukraine. And weā€™ll look at their performance footage from the semi-finalsā€¦

Italy

This is the bookies long-term favourite. It has been * for months *. I donā€™t mind the song, but I find the silly dance and the man in a gorilla suit a novelty that actually makes me grumpy about the song. I have read somewhere this week that Eurovision needs a feel-good winner this year, and this would certainly be that. And I wouldnā€™t mind a week in Rome next year..

Spain

An example where the staging and the visuals do their best to give the song a lift. A splash of summer on the Eurovision stage. I love the bit where they stand on surfboards. A good effort from Spainā€¦

Germany

Again, nice visuals, but the song is instantly forgettable…

Ukraine

Seemingly the polar opposite to their entry last year, the Ukraine have gone all rock on usā€¦

Given that there isnā€™t anything else that sounds like this, it might do well. Not that we will be travelling back to Kyiv next year!

France

I find the backdrop more interesting than the song! This vocal is a bit pitchy, and Alma looks rather abandoned on the stage. Watching a performer dance around on their own (as with FYROM) isnā€™t particularly engagingā€¦

Et enfin, cā€™est Le Royaume-Uniā€¦

United Kingdom

The irony is that, in this Brexit time we find ourselves in, the UKā€™s entry is called Never Give Up On Youā€¦ šŸ™‚

Vocally and visually this is good. Wait until 2:30 mins in, and you’ll get the big note and an effective burst of colour on the backdrop. All quite effective. I actually think the song is rather dull, seeming to lack a proper chorus with a punch. But hey, itā€™s not the worst thing we have sent to Eurovision! Will Lucy Jones be punished for the UK leaving the EU? Will that politics really be played out in the voting? Or will people just vote, or not vote for the UK, based on their like or dislike of our entry. Letā€™s see. As I type this (Friday PM), the UK are sixth favourite with the bookiesā€¦

So that completes the contenders for the Grand Final. Is there a winner in the ā€˜Big Fiveā€™ and Ukraine? Maybe, just maybeā€¦

Oh, and an update from Brian on chicken Kyiv in, you know, Kyivā€¦

The little kid in the picture looks jazzed for some garlic chicken! šŸ™‚

I will be back tomorrow (Saturday) with my thoughts on the Grand Final.Ā Now, what do I fancy for dinner tonight? Hmmm…

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ESC2017: the douze and don’ts for the second semi-final…

Tonight it’s the second sem-final of ESC2017. Last night it was the jury semi-final, where the international juries cast their votes. Here’s a clip of the action from yesterday…

It’s the usual pick and mix of music and performances, so let’s have a look …

  1. Serbia

As you would expect with the carefully planned draw for both semi-finals, we start with an up-tempo number. Another mainstream pop record ā€“ probably the most pop entry that Serbia have competed with. Coupled with a whiff of traditional instrumentation itā€™s a good pop song. A bit reminiscent on the chorus, with the melody of Katy Perryā€™s ā€œFireworkā€, and The Sugababes ā€œAbout You Nowā€ on the verse. Iā€™d like to see it progress to the final.

  1. Austria

You would expect the musical influences from the charts are often an influence on Eurovision entries. In the first semi Rag’n’Bone Man was an influence on the Cypriot entry, and Austriaā€™s song has the Ed Sheeran effect. ā€œWalking On Airā€ is a breezy feel-good pop song, and at least one song per year sounds a wee bit like this. I like it very muchā€¦

  1. FYR Macedonia

One of the more electropop songs of the contest. Reminds me of some of the scandipop artists, such as Annie and Robyn. I love it. I like me a bit of a cheeky double hand clap on a song, and they are peppered throughout. Nice bit of punchy pop. FYROM are nowhere in the betting, but I would be surprised if this didnā€™t get to the final. Itā€™s got my vote! šŸ™‚

  1. Malta

Itā€™s time for the first ballad of the evening. Itā€™s an old school ballad, with a bejewelled frock to underline this fact. A rather plodding song, it feels longer than the three short minutes that it is. I think itā€™s taxi for Maltaā€¦ but then again there aren’t many ballads tonight…

  1. Romania

All kinds of cuckoo-crazy going on here! If you are not a fan of yodelling, this song isnā€™t for you. Romania will progress, because itā€™s a bit of a novelty song, and the diaspora will ensure that it does. For me itā€™s like the scene in the Movie Mars Attacks! when the sound of the yodelling explodes the alienā€™s heads. Yup, me tooā€¦

  1. The Netherlands

Fantastic harmonies for this song. Very reminiscent of Wilson Phillips (remember them from the 1990s). This is very catchy, if a little dated. From what I have seen the sisters are also styled in rather dated in costumes ā€“ they are more than bedazzled! Great to see that it has jumped up in the betting odds since rehearsals began. With a clap along bit and one of the big key changes in the Contest this year, I think it will progress. For the love of key changes, I hope it does…

  1. Hungary

As we celebrate diversity at the ESC this year it seems a little odd that only a handful of songs are sung in a language other than English. Hungary stands out for not doing so. Also, one of the few songs to have that indigenous flair to the music. I like it.

  1. Denmark

Denmark had a purple patch in the contest a few years back, particularly around Alexander Rybaksā€™s victory in 2009. Remember his ā€œFairytaleā€? Great, wasn’t it. Well, Denmark didnā€™t qualify last year. Singer Anja certainly has a great set of pipes on her, but for me the vocal gets a bit ‘shouty’. It’s growing on me, and it’s well liked in the betting. 50/50 for me…

  1. Ireland

Young Brendan Murray has a really interesting vocal, and great range. Louis Walsh is Brendanā€™s manager, and selected this song for him. Does it, or does it not, sound like something Westlife would have recorded! It even has a key change! Letā€™s hope Brendan gets to the finalā€¦

  1. San Marino

San Marino have a habit of sending songs that are a bit bonkers, and a bit dated. 2017 is no differentā€¦

Doesnā€™t quite work for me, even though there was that cheeky key change. Like busses, these key changes this year! Bless ā€˜em for the effortā€¦

  1. Croatia

Listen to the lyrics of this song and have life affirmed. A bit of a popera crossover song. Cracking vocals from Jacques. If a song gets to the final with a bit of welly, then this will.

  1. Norway

Back in 2010 Norway hosted the ESC, and their host theme was ā€œShare The Momentā€. This year their song is ā€œGrab The Momentā€. You may very well grab the moment to do what needs doing around the houseā€¦

Itā€™s a song with an identity, crisis, right? And the stylings feel rather cheekily nabbed from Daft Punk, et al. Not for meā€¦

  1. Switzerland

This is rather derivative of Rihanna, but I love it. Sure, itā€™s one of the many ā€œfemale vocal with drumsā€ songs, but in this draw it stands out for me. Itā€™s nowhere in the betting, so Iā€™ll be interested to see it on the Eurovision stage. Itā€™ll make it or break itā€¦

  1. Belarus

This is charmingā€¦

ā€¦ and a song that, during the first listen, you will be singing along with before the end ā€“ which is a bonus for songs in this competition. A finalist, surely?

  1. Bulgaria

Last year I just didnā€™t get the Australian entry until after the competition, even though it was one of the hot faves. Iā€™m the same with this song from Bulgaria this year. Itā€™s top three in the betting odds. I came to love the Australian entry last year, but Iā€™m not quite there with this songā€¦ so farā€¦

  1. Lithuania

A bit of a hot mess, vocally, musically and visually. The draw might kill it off? Last year the UK public voted Lithuania their favourite song. I canā€™t see that happening this year. Taxi for Lithuaniaā€¦

  1. Estonia

Koit Toome and Laura duet for Estonia, and it seems they are lost in Verona. Nice vocals. But Iā€™m a little bored with the song. Is it going to be lost in the draw?

  1. Israel

And finally, we turn to Israel to do what Israel have a habit of doing with their Eurovision formula: an uptempo pop song performed by an attractive man. Hey, if it ainā€™t broke, donā€™t fix it. That said, the formula needs a more interesting song this year. Much like the Greek song, this is dated europop/EDM. But the formula usually getā€™s Israel to the finalā€¦ The running order has probably helped it get to the finalā€¦

I think that this semi-final is the harder of the two to predict, as is usually the case every year. As on Tuesday night I’m going to decide my napkin of death top ten qualifiers during the show, and I’ll post it in the comments section below. See what you think later tonight.

My next review will be of the ‘Big Five’ and host country Ukraine. I’ll drop that tomorrow, but in the meantime remember that Eurovision is a marathon and not a sprint. Go grab your sneakers… and enjoy the show tonight! (BBC4 at 8pm in the UK, or live streamed on YouTube)

šŸ™‚

 

 

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ESC2017: Kyiv is calling…

After an entertaining evening, what did we learn from the first semi-final?

Key changes are back, b-a-c-k, B-A-C-K!

Belgiumā€™s Blanche looked petrified

Azerbaijanā€™s Dihaj was basically doing Lady Gaga

Finland was robbed (but perhaps a little too simple in terms of staging?)

Men without socks were quite popular

There was a man with a horse head on

There was a man with a horse head on standing on a ladder

The presenters were just awful!

These are the ten qualifiersā€¦

Moldova: Hey Mamma by Sunstroke Project

Azerbaijan: Skeletons by Dihaj

Greece: This Is Love by Demy

Sweden: I Canā€™t Go On by Robin Bengtsson

Portugal: Amar Pelos Dois by Salvador Sobral

Poland: Flashlight by Kasia Moś

Armenia: Fly With Me by Artsvik

Australia: Donā€™t Come Easy by Isaiah

Cyprus: Gravity by Hovig

Belgium: City Lights by Blanche

I got 7/10 on my napkin of death. How did you do? Iā€™d have had more if I hadnā€™t taken out Greece and Poland after Iā€™d seen them performed on the ESC stage. I thought Georgia sounded a lot better with the ESC performance, and was * gutted * when Finland didnā€™t get through, and slightly surprised Belgium did with that performance (although I like the song).

My Eurovision companion for many years, Brian Singleton, has popped over to Kyiv for the semi-finals. I asked for some photies of the scene in the venue, and he has obligedā€¦

The stage looks amazing ā€“ the only thing I am missing about not going this year is that I donā€™t see the stage in person. Still, it looks fab on the telly. Brian informs me that the venue is actually quite small. By the magic of telly it doesn’t look tiny, does it?!

Itā€™s also very cute that on his first night in Kyiv he had chicken Kiev for dinner! When in Kyiv, and all that… šŸ™‚

No major changes in the betting odds. The UK has advanced a couple of places, but Italy are still the bookies fave.

And so, next thing for me to do is to review the second semi-final. Back soonā€¦

šŸ™‚

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ESC2017: time for the first semi-final to Rise Like A Phoenix…

It’s almost time for the first semi-final of ESC2017, broadcast in the UK at 8pm on BBC4. I’m actually going to watch the YouTube live stream – I can’t stand the inane commentary from Scott Mills, so I’ll stream from the YouTube feed on my telly.

Not much movement in the betting odds since the Jury final last night. Italy are still favourites to win. Good news for the UK is that Lucy Jones has impressed during rehearsals, and she is now in the top ten! More from me on Lucy and the other automatic qualifiers in a couple of days…

Whilst I’m not in the venue this year, the stage looks stunning…

Great visuals, and I love the logo and the use of the beads motif. A nice bit of graphic design, as always.

Eurovision.tv are encouraging all the Eurofans to get involved on social media tonight. Me, I still don’t use twitter, but I’m sure a lot of you will be tweeting and getting involved. Here’s a reminder of the hashtags to use…

I have appreciated the coverage from the eurovision.tv website this year. The daily updates are really helpful, with a daily video recap of what’s occuring. Check them out if you want the info I just can’t provide this year… šŸ™‚

So, enjoy the music, the frocks and the drama tonight! I will post my ‘napkin of death’ with who I think will progress to the Grand Final during the voting sequence, and before the results, naturally. Let’s see who are the douze and who are the dont’s for round one…

 

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ESC2017: the first semi-final. Ooh, aah… just a little bit…

Ok, so Iā€™m doing things differently this year. In the absence of the backstage scoop and having seen none of the rehearsals, this first review is based on my impression of the songs based on what the songs sound like. I have tried to avoid some of the visuals from the music videos, as many this year are really distracting, and the visuals make the songs sound worse than they actually are. So, here goesā€¦

BTW, you can watch the first semi-final of ESC2017 on Tuesday 9 May, on BBC4 at 8.00pm in the UK, or streamed online via www.eurovision.tv

Here we go thenā€¦ and it couldn’t be a more perfect start, for me…

  1. Sweden

The first song for ESC2017 is from Swedenā€™s Robin Bengtsson, with the suitably (literally ā€“ they perform in suits) fabulous ā€œI Canā€™t Go Onā€. A cracking pop song, with slick moves and played well to the camera. A certainty to get through to the final. At the Melodifestivalen final back in March it was the international jury vote that guaranteed victory, and a place on the Eurovision stage. Surely a good sign. And he is, indeed, freakinā€™ beautiful, which helps. And you will know which word freakinā€™ has replaced since the original performance at Melodifestivalenā€¦ * ooh, the drama *ā€¦

And regular readers will expect me to want the Swedish entry to win. And yep, true to form I would be quite happy if the first song we hear this week is the last one we hearā€¦

  1. Georgia

Itā€™s hard to escape the title of this song. Yep, itā€™s ā€œKeep The Faithā€, for sure. The first belter of a ballad of this semi-final, and you know there are more to come, for sure. Tamara certainly gives it some welly. I canā€™t get on board with the lyrics. You know when English lyrics really sound like broken English, and the effect feels contrived and clichĆ©. Have a listen, and see what you think. Georgia have made it to the final 7/9 times, Iā€™m not sure it will be 8/10 this year, although on those oddsā€¦

  1. Australia

Regular readers of this blog know my view on Australiaā€™s participation at the ESC. Well, this is the third time they have competed, and so I guess the novelty factor is gone, and they are here to stay. Last year Australia were denied victory when the televote overturned a substantial jury vote lead. Itā€™s a strong song this year, and for someone so young, Isaiahā€™s got a mature and satisfying vocal. Surely through to the finalā€¦

  1. Albania

So soon in this semi-final, this song and the Georgian entry start to overlap, for me. More drums, more vocal gymnastics, but this is a much better song. The staging will play a key part. There needs to be a wind machine, for sure! I loves me some wind machine, people! Lindita is certainly singing like the rent is due tomorrow, so I hope it makes it to the final.

  1. Belgium

Belgium have regained their Eurovision mojo in recent years, with a succession of good contemporary songs. This year Blanche represents with the song ā€œCity Lightsā€. On first listen the dusky vocal could be mistaken for a male vocal, but not so. One of the more laid-back tracks in this semi-final. I like the tempo, and the shades of Lorde and La Roux. Is it too subtle? Again, the staging will be key in catching the attention of the juries (who * will * like it) and the televoters. I hope it gets to the final.

  1. Montenegro

If Rylan Clarke-Neal was ever to do Eurovision, you might imagine his entry would be a bit like this! The camp-stylings of Slavko Kalezić give us the first hands-in-the-air moment of this semi-final, and a bit of hi-nrg. If an entry could benefit from the gay Eurovision fans to progress, this might be it. My worry is that the theatrics and performance will detract from the song. When I listen to it I donā€™t mind the song, when I watch it I get distracted from the song (is it the horse hair ponytail, much?!). Fair play to Slavko, it clearly pays to stay off those pesky carbs! It pains me to say it, but I think it will be taxi for Montenegroā€¦

  1. Finland

On my first listen to this song back in February, I fell in love with it. I was delighted when it won Finlandā€™s national final. The song is beautiful and haunting, with a great vocal and orchestration. The song is not complicated by fussy staging, in fact quite the opposite ā€“ which might be a benefit. I am pleased to see that since rehearsals started in Kyiv it has leaped-up in the betting odds. If I was a betting man I would have put an each way bet on this to win the whole competition. I really hope that people are as enchanted by this as I am, and hereā€™s hoping it sails though to the finalā€¦

  1. Azerbaijan

Another country with an accomplished record at Eurovision. Competed nine times, qualified for the final nine times. Won it once. I see no reason why it wonā€™t qualify for the final this year. Whilst itā€™s a contemporary sounding song, I am a bit bored by it. That said, with what I hear is one of the more visually interesting stagingā€™s in Kyiv, it should progress to the final.

  1. Portugal

Ok, so letā€™s talk Marmite. Some people love it. Some people hate it. Me, I love it. Letā€™s talk the Portuguese entry this year. Some people love it, some people just donā€™t get it. I, for one, canā€™t quite see why itā€™s the second/third favourite to win the whole contestā€¦

Love that it harks back to the early chanson of the ESC back in the 1950s and 1960s. It has charm, but I am not the only one slightly puzzled by the whole thing. The singer, Salvador, looks rather unkempt, doesnā€™t he? Letā€™s see how this shakes down. Given it is much fancied with the bookies it would be a surprise to see it not progress, so I guess Iā€™ll say that it will, even though I donā€™t get it. Ok, so now letā€™s talk peanut butterā€¦

  1. Greece

It was a shock last year when Greece ruined their perfect track record by not progressing to the grand final. They return this year with a rather dated europop-by-numbers song, which will sound familiar to you even though you might only be hearing it for the first time. One of those songs. Forgettable for me, but probs going through to the final. * yawn *

  1. Poland

See what you think, but Polandā€™s entry is overlapping with Georgia and Albania. And with lyrics such as ā€œlike a bullet from a smoking gunā€, this is all a bit pedestrian. This point in the running order isnā€™t going to help. I think itā€™ll be last orders at the bar for Polandā€¦ unless the diaspora vote gives it a push into the final? Probsā€¦

  1. Moldova

Much like Greece, Moldova are resting on dated-sounding europop. Returning participants from ESC 2010, Sunstroke Project, made it to the grand final. I canā€™t see that happening this year. The rather irritating sax-hook is just too much for me. Adios Moldovaā€¦

  1. Iceland

There was much huffiness inside and outside of the Eurovision bubble, last year, when Greta SalĆ³me didnā€™t make it to the ESC final. FYI, pop pickers, her song ā€œHear Them Callingā€ was my favourite song of 2017. You know, inside and outside of the Eurovision bubble. I know, right.

This year Svala will sing ā€œPaperā€ for her place in the final. Once again, itā€™s a case of lyrics 101. Can lyrics really be more banal? So, a quick brainstorm for you on the lyrical themes to do with paperā€¦ what have you got? ā€¦ Yep, youā€™ve guessed it: paper cuts and glue. All too clichĆ©, and actually meaningless, when you study the lyrics. When this doesnā€™t get to the final this year, there wonā€™t be as much huffinessā€¦

  1. Czech Republic

I urge you to listen to this song, when watching the music video, and avoid watching the music video. The visuals will totally distract you from what I think is actually a really nice song. And someone please tell me where Iā€™ve heard the melody before? I am looking forward to seeing the staging of this entry. I would like to see it get throughā€¦

  1. Cyprus

So if youā€™d like to hear Rag’n’Bone Man in ESC2017, this is as close as youā€™re going to get ā€“ musically, if not vocally. All a bit derivate, but not terrible. That said, is it just me? Donā€™t you hate it when the word gravity is sung with a soft t. *shudders*

  1. Armenia

Currently occupying the top ten in the betting odds. This will sail through to the final. If the music video is anything to go by, the performance will be one of the more choreographically-charged performances. And nice flourishes of indigenous music in the contemporary pop mix.

  1. Slovenia

Poor Omar might not have your full attention by this point in the running order. And the song, rather dated as it sounds, will probably be killed-off by the draw. You know those nibbles will need topping-up, you will need to refresh that spritzer, and the dishwasher certainly ainā€™t going to empty itself. I think Omar will be ā€œOn My Wayā€ home. It sounds like I have summoned him to my house, but you know what I meanā€¦ * pats hair *

  1. Latvia

And we round off the first semi-final on an up-tempo note. Triana Parkā€™s aesthetic is, erm, interesting. Some might say more of a fashion donā€™t than a fashion do. Letā€™s hope it doesnā€™t get too Avant-garde and result in a hot mess on the Eurovision stage. If the marriage of song and visuals is right, it should make it through to the final. That said, if it wasnā€™t last call for this semi-final, Iā€™d say adios Latviaā€¦

So what do you think? Can you choose 10 finalists. I will be back on Tuesday PM with my final thoughts, with a plan to live blog during the semi-final and give my final ‘napkin of death’ before the results are declared.

‘CitingĀ  šŸ™‚ x

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ESC2017: Time to Celebrate!

Š—Š“рŠ°Š²ŃŃ‚Š²ŃƒŠ¹Ń‚Šµ Eurofans!

It’s Eurovision week once again – and can you believe that it’s a year since I was in Stockholm for ESC2016. Following Jamala’s victory with the song 1944, the Eurovision Song Contest has has travelled to the Ukrainian capital, Kyiv. Ā I, however, will not be making the Eurofan pilgrimage toĀ the wonderful ‘Eurovision bubble’, having decided last year that I would watch it from home. I did the same back in 2012 whenĀ I felt like a year off. It’s lots of fun being in the bubble, but sometimes it’s nice to chill and watch it on the telly with friends.

Whilst I am not travelling to Kyiv I will be posting my thoughts on the runners and riders in the contest this year. I probably say this every year, Ā but I’m not feeling terribly inspired by the songs this year, so it’s a good time to be watching from home, and not trapped in the arena. I’m lacking my Eurovision mojo, but hopefully with the first semi-final on Tuesday night, I’ll get inspired.

This year the theme of the ESC is ‘Celebrate Diversity’. True enough, you will find the sights and sounds of Eurovision show how diverse our music tastes and cultures are, and also how they overlap. You will hear numerous female power-ballads which all sound the same, and there are lots of contemporary pop songs. A couple of Ed Sheeran sound-a-likes, and only a small number of countries not singing in the English language, which kinda contradicts the diversity thing, right. That said, plenty to delight and confuse our eyes and ears over the 42 entries this year.

This is the 10th year that I will be blogging, so hopefully I can still add a little something to your Eurovision once again. Please comment and share your thoughts on who you think is going to win. Is it really going to be Italy? Is a man in a gorilla suit really the best novelty of the contest? More on that later…

I’ll start with my preview of the first semi-final. See if you think the same as I do, and as always it’s all about predicting the ‘napkin of death’, and the ten songs that will progress to the Grand Final on Saturday night.

Do pobačennja for now… šŸ™‚